Ex-culture secretary newest Tory MP to name for Boris Johnson to resign over partygate

You possibly can all the time depend on Joe Lycett to deliver the foolish relating to politics.

First there was his brilliant parody of the Sue Gray report, and only a few weeks in the past he regaled friends within the Home of Lords with the story of him pretending to be a banking boss with a tweet that learn: “I’ve acquired a smelly bum bum”.

Now, the comedian is as much as his naughty methods once more and has Nadine Dorries in his sights after sharing a pretend letter pretending to be from the Tradition Secretary to Boris Johnson.

The letter, mocked as much as make it seem like it was on official Home of Commons stationery on the day the PM finally resigned, considerations the very severe matter of… bottle openers.

The letter begins: “It’s with deep disappointment that I’ve reached the conclusion this isn’t working. I’ve made trustworthy efforts to resolve the difficulties however it has grow to be clear this morning that I’m unable to proceed additional.

“I wish to thanks for buying the PoptheTop computerized bottle opener for me final week.

“I used to be very grateful for this and for a lot of issues you may have carried out for me, however I consider you haven’t bought the right bottle opener. I used to be seeking to open a bottle of ‘I Coronary heart Pinot Grigio’ I acquired from Tesco final night time and found the PoptheTop bottle opener is definitely solely designed to open conventional beer bottles or Coca Cola or J2O Apple and Mango.”

The letter continued: “It has been the honour of my life working in your authorities. I’ll consider and stand by you.”

The letter concludes by suggesting Johnson “rethink” and buy the Cuisinart CW050U electrical wine opener “which is £50 in John Lewis” or the Le Creuset LM250 Lever Corkscrew though it’s ”£95 and appears complicated to make use of.

“Please substitute the PoptheTop computerized bottle opener which doesn’t even work on the Grolsch bottles which have the metallic clasp.”

Nicely, we did say it was foolish.